THE SYNCREATE PODCAST: EMPOWERING CREATIVITY
HOSTED BY MELINDA ROTHOUSE, PHD
WELCOME TO SYNCREATE, WHERE WE EXPLORE THE INTERSECTIONS BETWEEN CREATIVITY,
PSYCHOLOGY, AND SPIRITUALITY. OUR GOAL IS TO DEMYSTIFY THE CREATIVE PROCESS,
AND EXPAND THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CREATIVE.
SUBSCRIBE / FOLLOW US ON SPOTIFY, APPLE PODCASTS, YOUTUBE
OR WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS
HOSTED BY MELINDA ROTHOUSE, PHD
WELCOME TO SYNCREATE, WHERE WE EXPLORE THE INTERSECTIONS BETWEEN CREATIVITY,
PSYCHOLOGY, AND SPIRITUALITY. OUR GOAL IS TO DEMYSTIFY THE CREATIVE PROCESS,
AND EXPAND THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CREATIVE.
SUBSCRIBE / FOLLOW US ON SPOTIFY, APPLE PODCASTS, YOUTUBE
OR WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS
EPISODE 28: FROM HEALING TO WHOLENESS
WITH EBEN BRITTON
LISTEN TO THE AUDIO EPISODE HERE:
WATCH THE FULL VIDEO VERSION HERE:
How do we move from healing to wholeness in body, mind, and spirit? What does it mean to communicate and create from a place of deep integrity in our work and relationships? We explore these questions with podcaster, workshop facilitator, and former NFL player Eben Britton. Eben spent 7 years in the NFL, and since that time has embarked on a journey of healing and wellness, which he now shares with others via his podcast, workshops, and retreats.
His signature retreat, Heal & Flow, happens several times a year, including March 23-24, 2024 in the Texas Hill Country outside of Austin. He also offers a men’s group called the Wild King. His work includes restorative practices such as yoga, meditation, and breath work, as well as practices to enhance communication, relationships, and authenticity. We discuss Eben’s journey from healing to wholeness, as well as the psychology of wellness, intuition, and individuation.
For our Creativity Pro-Tip, we encourage you to take some time for retreat, whatever that means for you, in order to rest and rejuvenate. That could mean signing up for a formal retreat, or simply taking some time off the busyness of life to rest and refocus on what’s really important.
Credits: The Syncreate podcast is created and hosted by Melinda Rothouse, and produced at Record ATX studios with in collaboration Michael Osborne and 14th Street Studios in Austin, Texas. Syncreate logo design by Dreux Carpenter.
If you enjoy this episode and want to learn more about the creative process, you might also like our conversations in
Episode 2: Embodiment and Creativity with Thais Bicalho Silva
Episode 4: Stewarding Change with Wellness Coach and Personal Trainer Reem Khashou
Episode 15: Leadership, Burnout & Personal Sustainability with Dr. Katherine Semler
At Syncreate, we're here to support your creative endeavors, so if you have an idea for a project or a new venture, please reach out to us for 1x1 coaching or join our Syncreate 2024 Coaching Group, starting in April. Early Bird Registration ends March 15th! You can find more information on our website, syncreate.org, where you can also find all of our podcast episodes. Find and connect with us on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram & TikTok under Syncreate, and we’re now on Patreon as well. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe and leave us a review!
His signature retreat, Heal & Flow, happens several times a year, including March 23-24, 2024 in the Texas Hill Country outside of Austin. He also offers a men’s group called the Wild King. His work includes restorative practices such as yoga, meditation, and breath work, as well as practices to enhance communication, relationships, and authenticity. We discuss Eben’s journey from healing to wholeness, as well as the psychology of wellness, intuition, and individuation.
For our Creativity Pro-Tip, we encourage you to take some time for retreat, whatever that means for you, in order to rest and rejuvenate. That could mean signing up for a formal retreat, or simply taking some time off the busyness of life to rest and refocus on what’s really important.
Credits: The Syncreate podcast is created and hosted by Melinda Rothouse, and produced at Record ATX studios with in collaboration Michael Osborne and 14th Street Studios in Austin, Texas. Syncreate logo design by Dreux Carpenter.
If you enjoy this episode and want to learn more about the creative process, you might also like our conversations in
Episode 2: Embodiment and Creativity with Thais Bicalho Silva
Episode 4: Stewarding Change with Wellness Coach and Personal Trainer Reem Khashou
Episode 15: Leadership, Burnout & Personal Sustainability with Dr. Katherine Semler
At Syncreate, we're here to support your creative endeavors, so if you have an idea for a project or a new venture, please reach out to us for 1x1 coaching or join our Syncreate 2024 Coaching Group, starting in April. Early Bird Registration ends March 15th! You can find more information on our website, syncreate.org, where you can also find all of our podcast episodes. Find and connect with us on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram & TikTok under Syncreate, and we’re now on Patreon as well. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe and leave us a review!
EPISODE-SPECIFIC HYPERLINKS:
Eben’s Website
Eben's Instagram
The Eben Flow Podcast
Heal & Flow Event March 23-24 in Wimberley, TX
Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Book: Iron John by Robert Bly
Book: Wild at Heart by John & Stasi Eldridge
Dave Meltzer
Book: Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Eben's Instagram
The Eben Flow Podcast
Heal & Flow Event March 23-24 in Wimberley, TX
Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Book: Iron John by Robert Bly
Book: Wild at Heart by John & Stasi Eldridge
Dave Meltzer
Book: Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Melinda: Welcome to Syncreate. This is a show where we explore the intersections between creativity, psychology and spirituality. We believe everyone has the capacity to be creative. And our goal is to demystify the creative process, and expand the boundaries of what it means to be creative. I'm Melinda Rothouse and I help individuals and organizations bring their creative dreams and visions to life.
So, very excited to have Eben Britton with us here today. He's also a podcaster. You might know of his show, The Eben Flow. He's got a book by the same name was a pro in the NFL for a number of years, and now kind of in the wellness space and spirituality space. So that's kind of how we connected.
Some common circles started to intersect. And here we are. And we were just kind, of I think that's like a good place. We were kind of chatting the other day about how what we both do kind of aligns and connects, and we're kind of both in the space of helping people, whether it's around creativity, whether it's around wellness, spirituality, just kind of be the best version of themselves.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: So and I also know that you come from a very creative family lineage, so I want to hear a little bit about how that informs your journey. But I guess for those who might not be as familiar, from from my listeners, what is it that you do and how does it relate to creativity?
Eben: Well, super excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
Melinda: Absolutely.
Eben: This is fun.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And I suppose the best place to start. Well, I think starting at the conversation that we had on the phone. Yeah. About what are we going to talk about? And something that I've been really wanting to talk to you about. Because it's very alive for me, in my life, as in everything I do. I don't know that I've always been the best at, especially in life after football. With football, it was easy because I had this dream, this vision of playing in the NFL.
Melinda: And was that always your dream?
Eben: I was a little kid. I was eight years old. I was watching the news at my grandparents’ house in Connecticut, and the Jets and the Giants came on. They were in training camp, and I watched these gladiators smashing into each other and like, this epic, violent ballet of men in armor. And I thought to myself, that's what I want to do when I grow up.
And my mom would never let me play. Finally, my freshman year of high school, she's like, “Okay, you can do it.” And it felt like this rocket ship to the moon trajectory of this is what I'm going to do. I'm on a mission. Everything I am is in accordance with achieving this dream, how I carry myself, how I walk, how I talk, how I eat, how I move, how I breathe is all about achieving this dream.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And coming out of that experience, and having to completely re-imagine myself, shed old skins, shed a lot of old skins, shed a lot of egocentric driving forces. For me, football was always this thing to prove to the world how big and strong and tough I was. And in the process of doing that, I really destroyed myself.
And so in life after football, doing the dance of healing, getting clean mentally, emotionally, physically, tuning in to who was Eb underneath all of that stuff, the football pads and the ideas about what I got to do with my life to prove my worth, and I don't know that I knew it was leading in this direction where I found myself.
But I've always been good at just following the breadcrumbs, one step at a time, you know, following where the universe, where God, where spirits taking me, one step at a time. And so, what that's revealed to me is: my mom started taking me to yoga when I was ten years old, and thank God she did, because it was this really important anchor for me.
It was touch and go through my football career. There were times when I was doing a lot of yoga, and times when I was doing no yoga, wanted nothing to do with yoga. I came out of football and yoga was a great starting place that I gravitated back towards, of putting my body back together. And then I didn't realize that it was going to help me put my mind back together and my heart back together.
So this process of clearing out all the gunk, all this stuff that was no longer serving me. Healing the wounds that I never had an opportunity to heal, because from 13 to 28, I was in this football container. All my relationships were coming through that prism. And like you said, coming from this family of artists, and always having this great appreciation for art, great books and literature and paintings and films.
And always loving Greek mythology, and ancient tales and all of that stuff, really was so important and so influential for me and my life experience. And so all of this stuff that I've come through, coming back to yoga and then my experiences with plant medicine, and therapy, and 12 step programs, and Al-Anon in particular, and meditation, and therapy, and group therapy and all that stuff, as it has guided me back to center.
That's where I've come into contact with what I would what I believe to be is my true purpose in this lifetime. And from that place, I found the inspiration to create, and to and to create the things that I've been creating that, you know, serve the purpose that I'm here to serve, Serve the gifts that I've been given. And, you know, for so long, not that I felt like I was only here to play football, but when that's your main objective, it's really hard to see anything outside of that.
Melinda: Sure.
Eben: So once football, football really served as this incredible educational experience of learning about the limits that I had or didn't have. Relationships with people, humanity, business, my physical abilities, my mental, emotional, spiritual capabilities. All of that stuff was wrapped up in this really deep educational master class of playing pro football, going on the journey of playing pro football.
And where I think it really, it's brought me to this place of being like, for me, I had to do a lot of work to get clear and centered so that I can move from that place. And that's where like you start to read, or you start to really dive into, what does it mean to be an artist, or what is the artist's way? And, and when you really get into that, it's this journey of getting to center, so that you can create from that divinely aligned source right in yourself.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So that's sort of a long, roundabout way of explaining, like for me, the events that we do, and the workshops that I put on, and everything I'm really interested in doing, is providing people with a space and experience and opportunity to anchor down into the center of themselves so that they can be who they're meant to be and serve their gifts. From that place?
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah, likewise. And you know, I noticed when I was researching that you were actually a creative writing major in college, or it's like, you know, that might be surprising to some. And, you know, I was just talking with a friend yesterday, actually, about this kind of wounded healer archetype, that comes out of Jungian psychology, where many of us who gravitate to psychology or wellness or meditation, yoga or whatever.
I was actually just talking with Kat about this the other day, too. It's like, it's because we need it. We're seeking that for ourselves, right, in our quest for self-development and healing and understanding. And then once we get to a certain place with it, then we can share what we've learned with others and kind of help them in their journey as well.
Eben: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, even in this place of reevaluating, constantly reevaluating, what am I moving from?
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: What's my intention here? And always reminding myself to work from the inside out.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: So just like you said, it's all for me. The meditation, the yoga, listening to music, creating something, writing. It's all for me to come back to center so that I can move from that place rather than the place of “Let me prove something. Let me make money, let me do X, Y, or Z,” because of…
Melinda: Some external thing.
Eben: Some dot, dot, dot, fill in the blank. External or whatever it is, you know.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah.
Eben: And I think that's been the most important thing for me, is learning how to do that. And always, and then the constant process, the never-ending studying, the never-ending learning, the never-ending process of coming back to center, developing myself, developing my inside, so that I can move from that place. Like, you know, I'm putting on this men's workshop, and it's my second one. It's called The Wild King, starts April 14.
Melinda: Tell us more about it. I think it's fascinating because personally, I'll just say, like, you know, there's all this going on with the #MeToo movement, and you know, all of all of this kind of stuff, which is great and important. But I really think, like, the men need support.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: So much, right. So I love that you're doing this. So tell us, like, what does that involve?
Eben: Yeah. So, the first one I did was really divinely inspired. It just came out of nowhere. I was, for the last handful of years, I've been venturing into these really profound philosophies on masculinity. I think it probably started with reading this book, Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, which I highly recommend. And then my brother turned me on to all of these incredible talks by this guy, this poet, and really incredible masculine philosopher Robert Bly.
And then that led me into earlier last year. I read Iron John fully, and went through it a couple times, and then I was seeing a friend and he gave me his, a good, dear friend of mine. His father passed away, and I was visiting with him and as a gesture of carrying on his father's legacy, any time any of his friends would come to the house, his father would give them a copy of this book, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, who, and Wild at Heart is basically a distilled down version of Iron John.
And so I read all of these books, and all of a sudden this thing just emerged. So I was like, “Yeah, I got to do a men's workshop.”
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Because this information was really alive. And I and somehow all of the stuff that I've been doing for the last eight or nine years had sort of culminated in, everyone in who was asking me to do a podcast was like, I want to talk about manhood, masculinity. I was like, that's interesting because I've never really thought about what I'm doing as that, in that way.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So I put on this first one and it was so divinely inspired. It wasn't even a thought. It just came out of me, and the six-week program, and this process that we go through, beginning with the physical, and then moving into meditation and mindfulness and then prayer, affirmation, communication, and then relationships, and then discipline and all of these sort of steps.
And so the thought came up to do another one. And I just put it on the calendar, and I started, and I started the process of promoting it and talking about it. And, you know, I realized that I was really pushing it. I realized that I was pushing this thing because I just, like the intention. It wasn't off, but it wasn't anchored in being of service to men, which the first one really was, and I recognized that like two days ago.
Melinda: Interesting.
Eben: And all of a sudden it just started to flow, and guys started buying tickets.
Melinda: How did that shift for you?
Eben: Well, I mean, you know, I'm in this constant process of self-reflection and self-study. And I'm doing this incredible coaching with a new mentor, this guy Dave Meltzer, who's had a really profound outlook on life as a businessman, and has philosophies for living. And he said something that just, it wasn't exactly connected to…
It was just like, “Eb, what, is your essence when you're speaking on anything?” Like, what's the essence that you're rooted in when you're promoting things?” And hearing, seeing other clips and ideas, thinking about that thing of: are we working from the outside in or the inside out?
Melinda: Right.
Eben: You know, and then just starting to reorganize how I'm speaking about something from the inside out rather than, because it had kind of taken on this thing like, I've got to put on this men's group. It became a little bit of this, not a burden, but something that I had to do to get guys to come in. And I had to be a certain thing. And, you know, rather than let me just show up in the truth and the, and honoring this subject matter.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And serving this subject matter, and let that draw in the people that it resonates with.
Melinda: Exactly. And it's that it's that authenticity piece. It's funny because the podcast episode that I did prior to this [Upcoming Episode with Steven Pritzker, PhD], you know at the end of it, my guest who, you know, he's very accomplished. He was a writer on the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And, you know, he's the co-editor of The Encyclopedia of Creativity. And he goes, that's really personal. And I was like, “That's great, because that's what people connect with.”
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: Right, and people sense if it's like, really salesy or like, people sense the motivation. And I think, you know, we all have something really important to offer and really unique to offer.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: But it's like, how are we communicating that? How are we, you know, coming across?
Eben: Yeah, and this is something that my mom and I talk about a lot. And what's the transmission?
Melinda: Yeah
Eben: Because beyond the words, when you interact with somebody you're teaching, you're just communicating with someone.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Maybe it's just at the coffee shop. Your words say one thing, but there's an energetic, a vibrational transmission.
Melinda: Absolutely.
Eben: That's coming from your center. That doesn't lie. Your words might say anything.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Your words can say anything. But what is that energetic vibrational transmission that some of these getting from you? Because that will tell the truth, you know.
Melinda: And people can tell when that's not aligned, right, and then that, it makes people a little uneasy. It's like you're saying one thing, but you know, and they say that at least 70% of communication, if not more, is nonverbal.
Eben: Yeah, totally. Totally. It's totally true. It's 1,000% true. So for me, it was a really great, this experience with the men's workshop, was a really great reminder of Eb, this is what we're doing here anyway. This is what I'm teaching. So I had gotten distracted because of all the stuff, all the external things that we're all subject to.
Melinda: All the time. Every day, All day, constantly. Yeah.
Eben: Because it's like, yeah. let me reevaluate. Where am I anchored into here? Am I here to serve this information to men for the sake of serving it? Because it needs to be served and it's important information. Or am I just doing it to check a box? You know.
Melinda: Absolutely. I heard one of your clips. I saw one of your clips the other day. And you were you were talking about this workshop and talking about integrity.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: And that really spoke to me. You know, that really connected because, I mean, we have a lot of models out there in our society of what masculinity is, and it's not always great.
Eben: Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Melinda: But like what you were speaking about there, in terms of integrity of your word, right. I thought was really powerful.
Eben: Well, I'll say the cliché thing that's super true, which is our words are magic. And the universe responds to your words. And if your words are out of alignment with your insides, the universe recognizes that, and goes, “You're full of shit, dude.” You're not being honest. You're not being truthful. You're not in integrity. And so going back to your point about there's a lot of, I think for the last, at least as long as media has existed, we've gotten a really skewed view of what masculinity is, right. In the modern era, say, post-industrial revolution, men have been completely severed from their primordial anchors, which is to hunt and provide food for the clan. And to protect the territory from invaders. And so we don't have to do either of those things anymore.
Melinda: So what what do you do?? Yeah.
Eben: Like, where does masculinity reveal itself.
Melinda: In healthy ways?
Eben: Yes. And I think that, the interesting thing is, in this moment in humanity, it's the truth of masculinity is being revealed. Because it is to me, this concept of how deep is your integrity as a man, that you can have difficult conversations when they need to be had. You can speak truthfully and honestly, especially with women.
Man to man. We're going to call out each other's bullshit, right? Or we just won't hang out right. You know, like I, if it's a guy I love, I'll call him out and I'll hope that he calls me out when I'm not speaking truthfully.
Melinda: Yeah. Right.
Eben: Or I just won't hang out with that guy because I go, I don't, nothing that guy says resonates with me because I know he's doing X on the side, right, when he's alone. Right. But with women, our relationships with women, or with our intimate partners, or with work partners, it's like, are you a man that people can rely on as the mountain, you know, and this esoteric symbology of the masculine as the mountain or the king.
You, the men, create the structure that everyone moves in, through, against, with, you know. And when you think about the feminine and the masculine, and the masculine and being the structure, and the feminine being the energy that enlivens all of nature, all of everything.
And I was listening to Kat have a conversation with a woman who's getting ready to speak at her women's group. And the woman sounded, who I know is a really profound healer and energy worker, and she sounded really tired, and really at odds with the men that she finds herself surrounded by.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And all the work that she does, she goes, “Men are addicted, they’re, to alcohol, substance, porn. They've totally lost themselves in that.” And as men, it's, and she said this thing that hit me right in the chest and because it's so true in everything that I've learned in relationships, and everything that I've come to realize about the dynamics of masculine and feminine in relationship with one another; it's like men have to step up and lead the charge of bringing balance, restoring the balance. And this is where it happens. You know, we can’t expect; I see this all the time, and it drives me insane, because I see these men spiritual wellness influencers talking to women about how men love to see women in their femininity. And I'm like, “Dude, how do you expect women to just be in their feminine if we aren't in our masculine?”
So let's correct it as men, of being in the masculine, learning what the truth of that is, which is to be in integrity with your word, to be the bastion of truth and solidity, the solid ground beneath everyone's feet, so that then the feminine goes, “Oh, he's, this masculine container has been set, so I can flow and love and create in my feminine.” You know?
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And so as men, it's like, okay, we can't hunt and we don't have to protect the territory anymore. I mean, you can do these things, you know, you can go and hunt. And I think that's a good, it's a good activity, but it's not the survival exercise that it once was.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So the stakes aren't there as far as what that does for the family unit or the, you know, any sort of tribal group dynamic. And so to be the masculine, to hold the masculine point, our word has to be in complete integrity; we have to speak truthfully and honestly and move that way as well, so that we are a person that can be relied on, that the people around us go, “I can rely on that person, I can live on that person, I can I believe in that person because what they say is truth.” And that's the reality that we live in. You know.
Melinda: Yeah. And that strikes me as important. I mean, I think it's really important, this men's work. And I want to honor that, because I look around, I see so many men struggling and I think they need this. But I think this also is wisdom that applies in other contexts. Like I think we would all be better off if we operated from that place of authenticity, and transparency, and openness, whether we identify as men or women or nonbinary, or we're talking about people in leadership roles, right.
In the leadership work I do with people, you know, people are like, well, how do you, you know, work with leaders and executives? And I say, you know, it really boils down to emotional intelligence and communication skills. Right. And so much of that is what you're talking about.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: You know, are we transparent? Do we inspire trust? You know, do we build relationships that that people can really feel confident in? Do people feel that we have their back? You know.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: All these things.
Eben: Yeah. 1,000%. And I think what's interesting about social media, the Internet, is it's really, there's nowhere to hide. You know, and we can see it all. You know, like you can on social media. Yes, you can paint a picture that's totally illusory, that’s not exactly the reality that you're living in. But the people around those people know.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: And when you can see everything, and there's nothing to hide anymore, you can't hide anymore. It's like, the only answer is to be totally honest and truthful and authentic to who you are and how you are.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: You know, so that people I think, to me, that's a really, maybe it's not only to me, that's an invaluable currency in this day and age. To be someone that people go, I can rely on that guy. I can trust that woman. I know that what this person says is real.
Melinda: Yeah. Especially in this age of misinformation. And, you know, the smoke and mirrors that go on all the time, you know. Hopefully most people can kind of see through that stuff, but not always. Right. In this age of AI.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: You know, sometimes it gets harder and harder to discern, but we can still feel it.
Eben: Yeah, you can feel it. And that's going back to the work that I do, and all of it to create a deeper sensitivity through a deeper level of awareness, so that you can be more in tune with that feeling of, because, how many times have we gone down a road, before AI even existed? We would take that turn to go down the road to get the shiny thing.
Melinda: Right, sure.
Eben: Or the things that we thought was really exciting. This is the next step. And while perhaps it wasn't necessarily a mistake or a wrong turn, because we learned a lot in the process of seeking out that thing.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: But maybe had we been a little more tuned to what's in alignment with us, what feels good for us, in the trajectory of the life where we're seeking to build or envision for ourselves, maybe we wouldn't have taken five years down that road in that relationship, or with that job and would have just gone the other way that, you know, we cut five years off the.
Melinda: Yeah. And of course, it's always easier to see that in hindsight. Right. But I mean, we've talked psychology. I know you have an interest in psychology as well. And I'm really interested in this idea of individuation, which I think it's very much related to the work you do. It's a journey to wholeness. And so much of that journey is like an unlearning of all the societally imposed expectations of what we think we're supposed to do, or we think we're supposed to want. And like, really coming back to, you know, the intuitive self and, you know, those things we know to be true about ourselves. And then learning to honor that.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: Right. The intuition.
Eben: I love that. That's so, love that. Once again, like for me, the yoga and meditation, the therapy, all of that stuff was super necessary for me in even getting to a place where I started to make decisions based on my own intuitive sense.
Melinda: Yes!
Eben: Which is, in other words, the process of my individuation from my family, my culture, my society. All of that stuff.
Melinda: Yes, absolutely.
Eben: And I know you and Kat really vibed on that when we first met, because she was reading the book, Women Who Run with The Wolves.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: And she had just locked in on this one chapter.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: Which was hitting me in the chest because I've been, same thing, like this morning, I was telling you. We woke up really early, stepped outside into the back, put my feet in the grass, and I literally just burst into tears, watching the sun come through the clouds and the breeze flowing through the trees. And the feeling was really about having made a lot of decisions over the last two years.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: That were in direct alignment with me living for me. And not living for my mom, my dad, or making decisions going, “Is somebody going to tell me I'm doing it right? Please, please!” You know, and just going, This is what feels good. This is what feels in alignment. I'm going to make a decision based on that. Maybe it's the wrong thing, but it's a decision for me.
Melinda: Yeah. And learning to trust that more and more. I mean, I think that, you know, ultimately that's what that's how our paths crossed.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: You know, because we both felt that pull, you know, me like moving out of Austin into the Hill Country, and you know, just wanting things to be a little quieter, a little simpler, a little more space. And same thing, right? And then, there we were.
Eben: Yes. Yeah.
Melinda: Right. So that feels like a really good segue, actually, to talk about the Heal & Flow workshop that's coming up at this wonderful space, Mystic Oaks, a place close to my heart, and yours as well now. So tell us a little bit more about the retreat that's coming up in March.
Eben: Yes. So Heal & Flow is really where it all started. And my partner, my beautiful life partner, Kat, and I created Heal and Flow. And essentially it was her idea. I mean, I was good with going and teaching yoga. Doing my thing at other people's events. And she said to me one day, “What do you think about doing your own events or us doing our own events?”
And thought, “Really? we could do that?” And so Heal & Flow was born out of this desire to provide people with a space and an opportunity to connect with themselves, to connect with their, I love that term, the intuitive self, that exists within all of us, that we spend so much time getting distracted from, or making decisions based on the external stuff. And we rarely, we're not trained at all in tuning inward to connect with that intuitive sense of our life, and our life direction.
Melinda: Yeah, and so much of what's out there is designed to do precisely the opposite, right?
Eben: “Look over here!” Yeah. “You need this thing. Take this pill.”
Melinda: Exactly. Yeah.
Eben: Yeah. So this will be our 4th event, and we're doing it at Mystic Oaks in Wimberley, Texas, which, I mean, I feel like I'm in heaven, Melinda, truly.
Melinda: An incredibly amazing place.
Eben: Yeah, it's such a special place. I feel so grounded and at peace. And so Heal & Flow is a two-day experience. We do yoga, we do breath work, we jump in ice tubs. We have really great food. All of the meat is provided by and from Force of Nature meats, which is all regenerative, farmed meats, incredible, as good as it gets in planet Earth.
These animals are really well taken care of. They live incredible lives that nourish the land, nourish the soil, nourish the species, and then nourish us. So all of the meat is provided by them. Thank you, Force of Nature, Sarah, or anyone there who’s listening. Taylor and Katie, who are the founders, are just amazing people, live out in Fredericksburg on a big ranch. Really big ranch.
We have world class supplements and all of that stuff is so great, and it's really fun. And we love connecting people with the stuff that we love to take, and the food that we love to eat. But really, it's about coming into this two-day container, and having an opportunity to connect with yourself, connect with other people who are seeking out this new way of being.
Melinda: Yeah
Eben: Perhaps it's just, it's the archaic revival of coming back to what we were always meant to do, what we've always done, until technology and stuff started blinding us. Although, you know, if you've ever met someone from an indigenous tribe in the Amazon or Africa or wherever, they all deal with human problems too. So it's not like we're ever going to escape that stuff. But, you know, a two-day opportunity to completely reset yourself.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And reevaluate how you're living your life. You go in one person, you step through this portal, you come out the other side, and you have a completely renewed sense of what you want to do with your life and how you want to operate. And that's a really powerful thing. Like even me, who, you know, I spend the weekend facilitating most of it, and connecting with people. You know, I always come out the other side and go, “Wow, what do I want to do now?”
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: You know, this, our last one was in Lake Stevens, Washington, at this incredible home on the lake. And at the end of it, I saw how deeply entrenched many of my behaviors were, just like simple things. “I got to be here at this time, so I can do that. I got to do this; I got to do that.” And I thought, “Man, I don't have to do any of that stuff, actually.”
Melinda: Right.
Eben: And I got to completely reevaluate how I was living, how I was operating. And we even missed our flight. [Laughter] We missed our flight going back. it was such an interesting, divine experience of, the traffic was unexpectedly bad.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Unexpectedly horrific. Like when we got to this place where we should have been 15 minutes away from the airport, we were still an hour and 15 minutes away. And if you have ever been Seattle, it rivals L.A. in traffic.
Melinda: Yeah. yeah.
Eben: And especially coming through the city. And all of a sudden I look down at my phone and I'm like, “Oh my God, we're going to be late to our flight.” No panic, no feeling at all. I just literally clicked a few buttons and rebooked our flight for the next day. And it was just a really powerful experience for me, of in the past where I would have been like, “We got to get to the airport. We're going to be sprinting through the airport. I got to do all this stuff, got to get back.”
I just said, “You know what? We're meant to stay another day. We could take our time, move a little slower.” And for me, that's been a really powerful shift over the years, in everything that I do, and especially being in partnership with Kat because she's such a queen of recovery and rest.
Melinda: Yes, she is.
Eben: It's been a really big teacher for me. You know, and learning. I can go slow. And I'll still get stuff done.
Melinda: And maybe even more effectively and more productively than when you're racing around..
Eben: I think to myself, my God, I get more done in a day now than I used to get done in a week.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And I move slower because I move more intentionally.
Melinda: Exactly. And you're not just kind of constantly spinning wheels and, you know, life's distractions, right. But I think that's really a testament to the power of retreat. You know, whenever and however you can find that, just taking that time away, taking that time for oneself. You know, I was talking with one of my leadership clients earlier, and toward the end of the conversation, I was just like, “Well, how is your self-care, like, how are you sleeping? And like, what's your diet like and are you doing any meditation?” It was just like, yeah, all those things, like, you know, how life is determined to distract us in all these kind of ways. And so you do have to be really intentional about taking time, even, especially when it feels like there's no time.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: Finding that time is so powerful. And then we come out, as you're saying, with a clarity of purpose.
Eben: Yes. So that's, that's the intention of Heal & Flow, and really excited about it. March 23 and 24. Wimberley, Texas if you're interested. If it's calling, just reach out. You know, just see just take, take the next step and see if it's in alignment. We'd love to see you there.
Melinda: Perfect. And so speaking of which, how can people connect? How can people find out more about the retreat, about you, what you're up to?
Eben: Pretty much my information hub is on Instagram at edsbritton. Links to everything is there. You can also check out my website ebenbritton dot com, although that's sometimes not always up to date. Instagram is definitely the hub that's got Heal & Flow, The Wild King, which is my men's workshop. I've also got a group mentorship program called Life and Flow. My book is there, my podcast is there, all of that stuff.
Melinda: Yeah, we'll have to do a whole other session about podcasting, right?
Eben: Yes, definitely.
Melinda: To be continued. That'll be part two, right.
Eben: Absolutely.
Melinda: Yeah. Great. Well, thank you so much.
Eben: Thank you, Melinda.
Melinda: Thanks for being with us today and just excited for all the all the good stuff that's happening, and I'm looking forward to healing for I'll be participating as well. So really excited.
Eben: Yeah. Thank you for everything, Melinda.
Melinda: Absolutely. My pleasure. Thanks so much to Eben Britton for being with us today.
At Syncreate. We're here to support your creative endeavors. So if you have an idea for a project or a new venture, please reach out to us for one on one coaching or join our Syncreate Six-Months Coaching Group coming up in April as well. We're offering a 10% discount for people who heard about it through the podcast.
You can find more at Syncreate dot org where you can also find all of our episodes. We're also on YouTube and all the podcast platforms, as well as social media. So find us and connect. And we're recording today here live at Record ATX Studios in Austin, and the podcast is produced in collaboration with Mike Osborne at 14th Street Studios.
Thanks so much for being with us and see you next time.
So, very excited to have Eben Britton with us here today. He's also a podcaster. You might know of his show, The Eben Flow. He's got a book by the same name was a pro in the NFL for a number of years, and now kind of in the wellness space and spirituality space. So that's kind of how we connected.
Some common circles started to intersect. And here we are. And we were just kind, of I think that's like a good place. We were kind of chatting the other day about how what we both do kind of aligns and connects, and we're kind of both in the space of helping people, whether it's around creativity, whether it's around wellness, spirituality, just kind of be the best version of themselves.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: So and I also know that you come from a very creative family lineage, so I want to hear a little bit about how that informs your journey. But I guess for those who might not be as familiar, from from my listeners, what is it that you do and how does it relate to creativity?
Eben: Well, super excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
Melinda: Absolutely.
Eben: This is fun.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And I suppose the best place to start. Well, I think starting at the conversation that we had on the phone. Yeah. About what are we going to talk about? And something that I've been really wanting to talk to you about. Because it's very alive for me, in my life, as in everything I do. I don't know that I've always been the best at, especially in life after football. With football, it was easy because I had this dream, this vision of playing in the NFL.
Melinda: And was that always your dream?
Eben: I was a little kid. I was eight years old. I was watching the news at my grandparents’ house in Connecticut, and the Jets and the Giants came on. They were in training camp, and I watched these gladiators smashing into each other and like, this epic, violent ballet of men in armor. And I thought to myself, that's what I want to do when I grow up.
And my mom would never let me play. Finally, my freshman year of high school, she's like, “Okay, you can do it.” And it felt like this rocket ship to the moon trajectory of this is what I'm going to do. I'm on a mission. Everything I am is in accordance with achieving this dream, how I carry myself, how I walk, how I talk, how I eat, how I move, how I breathe is all about achieving this dream.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And coming out of that experience, and having to completely re-imagine myself, shed old skins, shed a lot of old skins, shed a lot of egocentric driving forces. For me, football was always this thing to prove to the world how big and strong and tough I was. And in the process of doing that, I really destroyed myself.
And so in life after football, doing the dance of healing, getting clean mentally, emotionally, physically, tuning in to who was Eb underneath all of that stuff, the football pads and the ideas about what I got to do with my life to prove my worth, and I don't know that I knew it was leading in this direction where I found myself.
But I've always been good at just following the breadcrumbs, one step at a time, you know, following where the universe, where God, where spirits taking me, one step at a time. And so, what that's revealed to me is: my mom started taking me to yoga when I was ten years old, and thank God she did, because it was this really important anchor for me.
It was touch and go through my football career. There were times when I was doing a lot of yoga, and times when I was doing no yoga, wanted nothing to do with yoga. I came out of football and yoga was a great starting place that I gravitated back towards, of putting my body back together. And then I didn't realize that it was going to help me put my mind back together and my heart back together.
So this process of clearing out all the gunk, all this stuff that was no longer serving me. Healing the wounds that I never had an opportunity to heal, because from 13 to 28, I was in this football container. All my relationships were coming through that prism. And like you said, coming from this family of artists, and always having this great appreciation for art, great books and literature and paintings and films.
And always loving Greek mythology, and ancient tales and all of that stuff, really was so important and so influential for me and my life experience. And so all of this stuff that I've come through, coming back to yoga and then my experiences with plant medicine, and therapy, and 12 step programs, and Al-Anon in particular, and meditation, and therapy, and group therapy and all that stuff, as it has guided me back to center.
That's where I've come into contact with what I would what I believe to be is my true purpose in this lifetime. And from that place, I found the inspiration to create, and to and to create the things that I've been creating that, you know, serve the purpose that I'm here to serve, Serve the gifts that I've been given. And, you know, for so long, not that I felt like I was only here to play football, but when that's your main objective, it's really hard to see anything outside of that.
Melinda: Sure.
Eben: So once football, football really served as this incredible educational experience of learning about the limits that I had or didn't have. Relationships with people, humanity, business, my physical abilities, my mental, emotional, spiritual capabilities. All of that stuff was wrapped up in this really deep educational master class of playing pro football, going on the journey of playing pro football.
And where I think it really, it's brought me to this place of being like, for me, I had to do a lot of work to get clear and centered so that I can move from that place. And that's where like you start to read, or you start to really dive into, what does it mean to be an artist, or what is the artist's way? And, and when you really get into that, it's this journey of getting to center, so that you can create from that divinely aligned source right in yourself.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So that's sort of a long, roundabout way of explaining, like for me, the events that we do, and the workshops that I put on, and everything I'm really interested in doing, is providing people with a space and experience and opportunity to anchor down into the center of themselves so that they can be who they're meant to be and serve their gifts. From that place?
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah, likewise. And you know, I noticed when I was researching that you were actually a creative writing major in college, or it's like, you know, that might be surprising to some. And, you know, I was just talking with a friend yesterday, actually, about this kind of wounded healer archetype, that comes out of Jungian psychology, where many of us who gravitate to psychology or wellness or meditation, yoga or whatever.
I was actually just talking with Kat about this the other day, too. It's like, it's because we need it. We're seeking that for ourselves, right, in our quest for self-development and healing and understanding. And then once we get to a certain place with it, then we can share what we've learned with others and kind of help them in their journey as well.
Eben: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, even in this place of reevaluating, constantly reevaluating, what am I moving from?
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: What's my intention here? And always reminding myself to work from the inside out.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: So just like you said, it's all for me. The meditation, the yoga, listening to music, creating something, writing. It's all for me to come back to center so that I can move from that place rather than the place of “Let me prove something. Let me make money, let me do X, Y, or Z,” because of…
Melinda: Some external thing.
Eben: Some dot, dot, dot, fill in the blank. External or whatever it is, you know.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah.
Eben: And I think that's been the most important thing for me, is learning how to do that. And always, and then the constant process, the never-ending studying, the never-ending learning, the never-ending process of coming back to center, developing myself, developing my inside, so that I can move from that place. Like, you know, I'm putting on this men's workshop, and it's my second one. It's called The Wild King, starts April 14.
Melinda: Tell us more about it. I think it's fascinating because personally, I'll just say, like, you know, there's all this going on with the #MeToo movement, and you know, all of all of this kind of stuff, which is great and important. But I really think, like, the men need support.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: So much, right. So I love that you're doing this. So tell us, like, what does that involve?
Eben: Yeah. So, the first one I did was really divinely inspired. It just came out of nowhere. I was, for the last handful of years, I've been venturing into these really profound philosophies on masculinity. I think it probably started with reading this book, Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, which I highly recommend. And then my brother turned me on to all of these incredible talks by this guy, this poet, and really incredible masculine philosopher Robert Bly.
And then that led me into earlier last year. I read Iron John fully, and went through it a couple times, and then I was seeing a friend and he gave me his, a good, dear friend of mine. His father passed away, and I was visiting with him and as a gesture of carrying on his father's legacy, any time any of his friends would come to the house, his father would give them a copy of this book, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, who, and Wild at Heart is basically a distilled down version of Iron John.
And so I read all of these books, and all of a sudden this thing just emerged. So I was like, “Yeah, I got to do a men's workshop.”
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Because this information was really alive. And I and somehow all of the stuff that I've been doing for the last eight or nine years had sort of culminated in, everyone in who was asking me to do a podcast was like, I want to talk about manhood, masculinity. I was like, that's interesting because I've never really thought about what I'm doing as that, in that way.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So I put on this first one and it was so divinely inspired. It wasn't even a thought. It just came out of me, and the six-week program, and this process that we go through, beginning with the physical, and then moving into meditation and mindfulness and then prayer, affirmation, communication, and then relationships, and then discipline and all of these sort of steps.
And so the thought came up to do another one. And I just put it on the calendar, and I started, and I started the process of promoting it and talking about it. And, you know, I realized that I was really pushing it. I realized that I was pushing this thing because I just, like the intention. It wasn't off, but it wasn't anchored in being of service to men, which the first one really was, and I recognized that like two days ago.
Melinda: Interesting.
Eben: And all of a sudden it just started to flow, and guys started buying tickets.
Melinda: How did that shift for you?
Eben: Well, I mean, you know, I'm in this constant process of self-reflection and self-study. And I'm doing this incredible coaching with a new mentor, this guy Dave Meltzer, who's had a really profound outlook on life as a businessman, and has philosophies for living. And he said something that just, it wasn't exactly connected to…
It was just like, “Eb, what, is your essence when you're speaking on anything?” Like, what's the essence that you're rooted in when you're promoting things?” And hearing, seeing other clips and ideas, thinking about that thing of: are we working from the outside in or the inside out?
Melinda: Right.
Eben: You know, and then just starting to reorganize how I'm speaking about something from the inside out rather than, because it had kind of taken on this thing like, I've got to put on this men's group. It became a little bit of this, not a burden, but something that I had to do to get guys to come in. And I had to be a certain thing. And, you know, rather than let me just show up in the truth and the, and honoring this subject matter.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And serving this subject matter, and let that draw in the people that it resonates with.
Melinda: Exactly. And it's that it's that authenticity piece. It's funny because the podcast episode that I did prior to this [Upcoming Episode with Steven Pritzker, PhD], you know at the end of it, my guest who, you know, he's very accomplished. He was a writer on the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And, you know, he's the co-editor of The Encyclopedia of Creativity. And he goes, that's really personal. And I was like, “That's great, because that's what people connect with.”
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: Right, and people sense if it's like, really salesy or like, people sense the motivation. And I think, you know, we all have something really important to offer and really unique to offer.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: But it's like, how are we communicating that? How are we, you know, coming across?
Eben: Yeah, and this is something that my mom and I talk about a lot. And what's the transmission?
Melinda: Yeah
Eben: Because beyond the words, when you interact with somebody you're teaching, you're just communicating with someone.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Maybe it's just at the coffee shop. Your words say one thing, but there's an energetic, a vibrational transmission.
Melinda: Absolutely.
Eben: That's coming from your center. That doesn't lie. Your words might say anything.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Your words can say anything. But what is that energetic vibrational transmission that some of these getting from you? Because that will tell the truth, you know.
Melinda: And people can tell when that's not aligned, right, and then that, it makes people a little uneasy. It's like you're saying one thing, but you know, and they say that at least 70% of communication, if not more, is nonverbal.
Eben: Yeah, totally. Totally. It's totally true. It's 1,000% true. So for me, it was a really great, this experience with the men's workshop, was a really great reminder of Eb, this is what we're doing here anyway. This is what I'm teaching. So I had gotten distracted because of all the stuff, all the external things that we're all subject to.
Melinda: All the time. Every day, All day, constantly. Yeah.
Eben: Because it's like, yeah. let me reevaluate. Where am I anchored into here? Am I here to serve this information to men for the sake of serving it? Because it needs to be served and it's important information. Or am I just doing it to check a box? You know.
Melinda: Absolutely. I heard one of your clips. I saw one of your clips the other day. And you were you were talking about this workshop and talking about integrity.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: And that really spoke to me. You know, that really connected because, I mean, we have a lot of models out there in our society of what masculinity is, and it's not always great.
Eben: Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Melinda: But like what you were speaking about there, in terms of integrity of your word, right. I thought was really powerful.
Eben: Well, I'll say the cliché thing that's super true, which is our words are magic. And the universe responds to your words. And if your words are out of alignment with your insides, the universe recognizes that, and goes, “You're full of shit, dude.” You're not being honest. You're not being truthful. You're not in integrity. And so going back to your point about there's a lot of, I think for the last, at least as long as media has existed, we've gotten a really skewed view of what masculinity is, right. In the modern era, say, post-industrial revolution, men have been completely severed from their primordial anchors, which is to hunt and provide food for the clan. And to protect the territory from invaders. And so we don't have to do either of those things anymore.
Melinda: So what what do you do?? Yeah.
Eben: Like, where does masculinity reveal itself.
Melinda: In healthy ways?
Eben: Yes. And I think that, the interesting thing is, in this moment in humanity, it's the truth of masculinity is being revealed. Because it is to me, this concept of how deep is your integrity as a man, that you can have difficult conversations when they need to be had. You can speak truthfully and honestly, especially with women.
Man to man. We're going to call out each other's bullshit, right? Or we just won't hang out right. You know, like I, if it's a guy I love, I'll call him out and I'll hope that he calls me out when I'm not speaking truthfully.
Melinda: Yeah. Right.
Eben: Or I just won't hang out with that guy because I go, I don't, nothing that guy says resonates with me because I know he's doing X on the side, right, when he's alone. Right. But with women, our relationships with women, or with our intimate partners, or with work partners, it's like, are you a man that people can rely on as the mountain, you know, and this esoteric symbology of the masculine as the mountain or the king.
You, the men, create the structure that everyone moves in, through, against, with, you know. And when you think about the feminine and the masculine, and the masculine and being the structure, and the feminine being the energy that enlivens all of nature, all of everything.
And I was listening to Kat have a conversation with a woman who's getting ready to speak at her women's group. And the woman sounded, who I know is a really profound healer and energy worker, and she sounded really tired, and really at odds with the men that she finds herself surrounded by.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And all the work that she does, she goes, “Men are addicted, they’re, to alcohol, substance, porn. They've totally lost themselves in that.” And as men, it's, and she said this thing that hit me right in the chest and because it's so true in everything that I've learned in relationships, and everything that I've come to realize about the dynamics of masculine and feminine in relationship with one another; it's like men have to step up and lead the charge of bringing balance, restoring the balance. And this is where it happens. You know, we can’t expect; I see this all the time, and it drives me insane, because I see these men spiritual wellness influencers talking to women about how men love to see women in their femininity. And I'm like, “Dude, how do you expect women to just be in their feminine if we aren't in our masculine?”
So let's correct it as men, of being in the masculine, learning what the truth of that is, which is to be in integrity with your word, to be the bastion of truth and solidity, the solid ground beneath everyone's feet, so that then the feminine goes, “Oh, he's, this masculine container has been set, so I can flow and love and create in my feminine.” You know?
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And so as men, it's like, okay, we can't hunt and we don't have to protect the territory anymore. I mean, you can do these things, you know, you can go and hunt. And I think that's a good, it's a good activity, but it's not the survival exercise that it once was.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: So the stakes aren't there as far as what that does for the family unit or the, you know, any sort of tribal group dynamic. And so to be the masculine, to hold the masculine point, our word has to be in complete integrity; we have to speak truthfully and honestly and move that way as well, so that we are a person that can be relied on, that the people around us go, “I can rely on that person, I can live on that person, I can I believe in that person because what they say is truth.” And that's the reality that we live in. You know.
Melinda: Yeah. And that strikes me as important. I mean, I think it's really important, this men's work. And I want to honor that, because I look around, I see so many men struggling and I think they need this. But I think this also is wisdom that applies in other contexts. Like I think we would all be better off if we operated from that place of authenticity, and transparency, and openness, whether we identify as men or women or nonbinary, or we're talking about people in leadership roles, right.
In the leadership work I do with people, you know, people are like, well, how do you, you know, work with leaders and executives? And I say, you know, it really boils down to emotional intelligence and communication skills. Right. And so much of that is what you're talking about.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: You know, are we transparent? Do we inspire trust? You know, do we build relationships that that people can really feel confident in? Do people feel that we have their back? You know.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: All these things.
Eben: Yeah. 1,000%. And I think what's interesting about social media, the Internet, is it's really, there's nowhere to hide. You know, and we can see it all. You know, like you can on social media. Yes, you can paint a picture that's totally illusory, that’s not exactly the reality that you're living in. But the people around those people know.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: And when you can see everything, and there's nothing to hide anymore, you can't hide anymore. It's like, the only answer is to be totally honest and truthful and authentic to who you are and how you are.
Melinda: Right.
Eben: You know, so that people I think, to me, that's a really, maybe it's not only to me, that's an invaluable currency in this day and age. To be someone that people go, I can rely on that guy. I can trust that woman. I know that what this person says is real.
Melinda: Yeah. Especially in this age of misinformation. And, you know, the smoke and mirrors that go on all the time, you know. Hopefully most people can kind of see through that stuff, but not always. Right. In this age of AI.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: You know, sometimes it gets harder and harder to discern, but we can still feel it.
Eben: Yeah, you can feel it. And that's going back to the work that I do, and all of it to create a deeper sensitivity through a deeper level of awareness, so that you can be more in tune with that feeling of, because, how many times have we gone down a road, before AI even existed? We would take that turn to go down the road to get the shiny thing.
Melinda: Right, sure.
Eben: Or the things that we thought was really exciting. This is the next step. And while perhaps it wasn't necessarily a mistake or a wrong turn, because we learned a lot in the process of seeking out that thing.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: But maybe had we been a little more tuned to what's in alignment with us, what feels good for us, in the trajectory of the life where we're seeking to build or envision for ourselves, maybe we wouldn't have taken five years down that road in that relationship, or with that job and would have just gone the other way that, you know, we cut five years off the.
Melinda: Yeah. And of course, it's always easier to see that in hindsight. Right. But I mean, we've talked psychology. I know you have an interest in psychology as well. And I'm really interested in this idea of individuation, which I think it's very much related to the work you do. It's a journey to wholeness. And so much of that journey is like an unlearning of all the societally imposed expectations of what we think we're supposed to do, or we think we're supposed to want. And like, really coming back to, you know, the intuitive self and, you know, those things we know to be true about ourselves. And then learning to honor that.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: Right. The intuition.
Eben: I love that. That's so, love that. Once again, like for me, the yoga and meditation, the therapy, all of that stuff was super necessary for me in even getting to a place where I started to make decisions based on my own intuitive sense.
Melinda: Yes!
Eben: Which is, in other words, the process of my individuation from my family, my culture, my society. All of that stuff.
Melinda: Yes, absolutely.
Eben: And I know you and Kat really vibed on that when we first met, because she was reading the book, Women Who Run with The Wolves.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: And she had just locked in on this one chapter.
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: Which was hitting me in the chest because I've been, same thing, like this morning, I was telling you. We woke up really early, stepped outside into the back, put my feet in the grass, and I literally just burst into tears, watching the sun come through the clouds and the breeze flowing through the trees. And the feeling was really about having made a lot of decisions over the last two years.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: That were in direct alignment with me living for me. And not living for my mom, my dad, or making decisions going, “Is somebody going to tell me I'm doing it right? Please, please!” You know, and just going, This is what feels good. This is what feels in alignment. I'm going to make a decision based on that. Maybe it's the wrong thing, but it's a decision for me.
Melinda: Yeah. And learning to trust that more and more. I mean, I think that, you know, ultimately that's what that's how our paths crossed.
Eben: Yes.
Melinda: You know, because we both felt that pull, you know, me like moving out of Austin into the Hill Country, and you know, just wanting things to be a little quieter, a little simpler, a little more space. And same thing, right? And then, there we were.
Eben: Yes. Yeah.
Melinda: Right. So that feels like a really good segue, actually, to talk about the Heal & Flow workshop that's coming up at this wonderful space, Mystic Oaks, a place close to my heart, and yours as well now. So tell us a little bit more about the retreat that's coming up in March.
Eben: Yes. So Heal & Flow is really where it all started. And my partner, my beautiful life partner, Kat, and I created Heal and Flow. And essentially it was her idea. I mean, I was good with going and teaching yoga. Doing my thing at other people's events. And she said to me one day, “What do you think about doing your own events or us doing our own events?”
And thought, “Really? we could do that?” And so Heal & Flow was born out of this desire to provide people with a space and an opportunity to connect with themselves, to connect with their, I love that term, the intuitive self, that exists within all of us, that we spend so much time getting distracted from, or making decisions based on the external stuff. And we rarely, we're not trained at all in tuning inward to connect with that intuitive sense of our life, and our life direction.
Melinda: Yeah, and so much of what's out there is designed to do precisely the opposite, right?
Eben: “Look over here!” Yeah. “You need this thing. Take this pill.”
Melinda: Exactly. Yeah.
Eben: Yeah. So this will be our 4th event, and we're doing it at Mystic Oaks in Wimberley, Texas, which, I mean, I feel like I'm in heaven, Melinda, truly.
Melinda: An incredibly amazing place.
Eben: Yeah, it's such a special place. I feel so grounded and at peace. And so Heal & Flow is a two-day experience. We do yoga, we do breath work, we jump in ice tubs. We have really great food. All of the meat is provided by and from Force of Nature meats, which is all regenerative, farmed meats, incredible, as good as it gets in planet Earth.
These animals are really well taken care of. They live incredible lives that nourish the land, nourish the soil, nourish the species, and then nourish us. So all of the meat is provided by them. Thank you, Force of Nature, Sarah, or anyone there who’s listening. Taylor and Katie, who are the founders, are just amazing people, live out in Fredericksburg on a big ranch. Really big ranch.
We have world class supplements and all of that stuff is so great, and it's really fun. And we love connecting people with the stuff that we love to take, and the food that we love to eat. But really, it's about coming into this two-day container, and having an opportunity to connect with yourself, connect with other people who are seeking out this new way of being.
Melinda: Yeah
Eben: Perhaps it's just, it's the archaic revival of coming back to what we were always meant to do, what we've always done, until technology and stuff started blinding us. Although, you know, if you've ever met someone from an indigenous tribe in the Amazon or Africa or wherever, they all deal with human problems too. So it's not like we're ever going to escape that stuff. But, you know, a two-day opportunity to completely reset yourself.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And reevaluate how you're living your life. You go in one person, you step through this portal, you come out the other side, and you have a completely renewed sense of what you want to do with your life and how you want to operate. And that's a really powerful thing. Like even me, who, you know, I spend the weekend facilitating most of it, and connecting with people. You know, I always come out the other side and go, “Wow, what do I want to do now?”
Melinda: Yes.
Eben: You know, this, our last one was in Lake Stevens, Washington, at this incredible home on the lake. And at the end of it, I saw how deeply entrenched many of my behaviors were, just like simple things. “I got to be here at this time, so I can do that. I got to do this; I got to do that.” And I thought, “Man, I don't have to do any of that stuff, actually.”
Melinda: Right.
Eben: And I got to completely reevaluate how I was living, how I was operating. And we even missed our flight. [Laughter] We missed our flight going back. it was such an interesting, divine experience of, the traffic was unexpectedly bad.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: Unexpectedly horrific. Like when we got to this place where we should have been 15 minutes away from the airport, we were still an hour and 15 minutes away. And if you have ever been Seattle, it rivals L.A. in traffic.
Melinda: Yeah. yeah.
Eben: And especially coming through the city. And all of a sudden I look down at my phone and I'm like, “Oh my God, we're going to be late to our flight.” No panic, no feeling at all. I just literally clicked a few buttons and rebooked our flight for the next day. And it was just a really powerful experience for me, of in the past where I would have been like, “We got to get to the airport. We're going to be sprinting through the airport. I got to do all this stuff, got to get back.”
I just said, “You know what? We're meant to stay another day. We could take our time, move a little slower.” And for me, that's been a really powerful shift over the years, in everything that I do, and especially being in partnership with Kat because she's such a queen of recovery and rest.
Melinda: Yes, she is.
Eben: It's been a really big teacher for me. You know, and learning. I can go slow. And I'll still get stuff done.
Melinda: And maybe even more effectively and more productively than when you're racing around..
Eben: I think to myself, my God, I get more done in a day now than I used to get done in a week.
Melinda: Yeah.
Eben: And I move slower because I move more intentionally.
Melinda: Exactly. And you're not just kind of constantly spinning wheels and, you know, life's distractions, right. But I think that's really a testament to the power of retreat. You know, whenever and however you can find that, just taking that time away, taking that time for oneself. You know, I was talking with one of my leadership clients earlier, and toward the end of the conversation, I was just like, “Well, how is your self-care, like, how are you sleeping? And like, what's your diet like and are you doing any meditation?” It was just like, yeah, all those things, like, you know, how life is determined to distract us in all these kind of ways. And so you do have to be really intentional about taking time, even, especially when it feels like there's no time.
Eben: Yeah.
Melinda: Finding that time is so powerful. And then we come out, as you're saying, with a clarity of purpose.
Eben: Yes. So that's, that's the intention of Heal & Flow, and really excited about it. March 23 and 24. Wimberley, Texas if you're interested. If it's calling, just reach out. You know, just see just take, take the next step and see if it's in alignment. We'd love to see you there.
Melinda: Perfect. And so speaking of which, how can people connect? How can people find out more about the retreat, about you, what you're up to?
Eben: Pretty much my information hub is on Instagram at edsbritton. Links to everything is there. You can also check out my website ebenbritton dot com, although that's sometimes not always up to date. Instagram is definitely the hub that's got Heal & Flow, The Wild King, which is my men's workshop. I've also got a group mentorship program called Life and Flow. My book is there, my podcast is there, all of that stuff.
Melinda: Yeah, we'll have to do a whole other session about podcasting, right?
Eben: Yes, definitely.
Melinda: To be continued. That'll be part two, right.
Eben: Absolutely.
Melinda: Yeah. Great. Well, thank you so much.
Eben: Thank you, Melinda.
Melinda: Thanks for being with us today and just excited for all the all the good stuff that's happening, and I'm looking forward to healing for I'll be participating as well. So really excited.
Eben: Yeah. Thank you for everything, Melinda.
Melinda: Absolutely. My pleasure. Thanks so much to Eben Britton for being with us today.
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