THE SYNCREATE PODCAST: EMPOWERING CREATIVITY
HOSTED BY MELINDA ROTHOUSE, PHD
WELCOME TO SYNCREATE, WHERE WE EXPLORE THE INTERSECTIONS BETWEEN CREATIVITY,
PSYCHOLOGY,AND SPIRITUALITY. OUR GOAL IS TO DEMYSTIFY THE CREATIVE PROCESS,
AND EXPAND THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CREATIVE.
SUBSCRIBE / FOLLOW US ON SPOTIFY, APPLE PODCASTS, YOUTUBE
OR WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS
HOSTED BY MELINDA ROTHOUSE, PHD
WELCOME TO SYNCREATE, WHERE WE EXPLORE THE INTERSECTIONS BETWEEN CREATIVITY,
PSYCHOLOGY,AND SPIRITUALITY. OUR GOAL IS TO DEMYSTIFY THE CREATIVE PROCESS,
AND EXPAND THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE CREATIVE.
SUBSCRIBE / FOLLOW US ON SPOTIFY, APPLE PODCASTS, YOUTUBE
OR WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS
EPISODE 4: STEWARDING CHANGE WITH WELLNESS COACH, PERSONAL TRAINER, COMPETITIVE ATHLETE AND FITNESS MODEL REEM KHASHOU
CLICK ON THE EMBEDDED PLAYER BELOW TO LISTEN:
Reem & Melinda ~ Photo by Axel Sigmar
Change is hard. Our natural tendency is often to resist it, even if we know it’s good for us. Change represents the unknown, and so we often fear it. That’s why we need people like Reem Khashou, a Wellness Coach and Personal Trainer, to help us implement lasting change in our lives. In this episode, we discuss the mind-body-spirit connection, Reem’s own health and wellness journey, and her approach to stewarding change in her clients. We also examine the transtheoretical model of change, transpersonal psychology, and the importance of daily practices like meditation on the path to wellness.
Episode 4 video clips
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full audio episode on Youtube:
EPISODE LINKS
Episode-specific hyperlinks:
Episode Transcript
Reem Khashou’s Website: changewithreem.com
Transtheoretical Model of Change
Tara Brach - The Sacred Pause
Transpersonal Psychology
Episode Transcript
Reem Khashou’s Website: changewithreem.com
Transtheoretical Model of Change
Tara Brach - The Sacred Pause
Transpersonal Psychology
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Melinda: Welcome to Syncreate, a show where we explore the intersections between creativity, psychology, and spirituality. We view creativity broadly, and one of our primary goals is to demystify the creative process. I'm Melinda Rothouse, and I help individuals and organizations bring their creative dreams and visions to life.
Today on the show, Reem Khashou.
I think it's very easy for many of us to fall into the trap of thinking about creativity in a narrow way. Today's guest, Reem Khashou, is a fitness and wellness expert, as well as my personal trainer. And at first you might not think of her as creative in a traditional sense. However, her work is not just about fitness and getting into better shape.
It's about something much more profound, namely, what it means to steward change. For many of us, change is hard and uncomfortable. Much of my work coaching and consulting with leaders and executives is about change management, whether it's in our personal lives or in our professional roles, implementing change is almost always harder than it seems. And for me, stewarding change is a fundamentally creative and vital process if we want to truly thrive. So, I decided to start my conversation with Reem by asking her about the mind-body connection and how it can be hard to implement lasting change.
Reem: First of all, I think in today's society and our Western society, we spend a lot of focus in our minds, and we are not connected to our bodies. So we move through the day in this hustle bustle, go, go, go, without actually feeling our bodies. So that's an integral step, just slowing down and actually thinking about things like, what am I putting into my body? How do I feel about my sleep? It's like we're in this constant striving for more, more, more, and we're not present within our very home on this planet, and change is difficult.
There is no magic bullet, but like anything lasting it takes breaking things down in focused efforts. So, I do ascribe to the theory called the transtheoretical model of change, and it places change into different stages and different steps. Let's pick smoking because that's probably an easy example. The you're like, I smoke, yeah, maybe might not be the best thing for me. But really pre-contemplation is where you couldn't care less. The second phase is contemplation, where you're starting to notice a few of my friends aren't quite smoking as much, and I still like it though. And then you move into a phase where you start to look around, you start to maybe read a little research, and then you move into the stage of action where you might go to the drugstore and pick up a packet of the smoking gum, maybe look at it, don't buy it, put it back. But those are the stages that you go through. And then at one point you, you go to the store one day for whatever reason, and you actually put that gum in your cart. So then you're in the phase of action, and that phase lasts a long time. It's not linear. You can chew the gum, be successful with it, and then have a stressful day and say, hey, I need a cigarette. So it's like acknowledging that change is progressive and it's something that does take time.
Melinda: Yeah. So just to kind of recap that, it sounds like the first few stages are actually in the mind. And then when we get to action, that's when it really starts to happen in the body.
Reem: They are, yes. And to celebrate those small successes, even the fact that you looked at that package of gum is still a success. So acknowledging because you're like, oh, I should, we live in a society of I should be better, I should be doing this. You are where you are in that space for a reason, and when the time is right, you'll make a decision to move forward.
So it's even acknowledging five months ago, I wouldn't have even considered going to the drugstore and looking at this and now you've read the back of it and thought, how would I implement this into my life? How would my life be a little bit better if I didn't smoke? So you start to weigh the pros and cons of changing and there's also pros of not changing.
Melinda: Yeah, and it sounds like having the intention to change, even if it starts with the tiniest little glimmer and then it starts to build.
Reem: Yes. I always feel like there's a little seed and when you slow down and you have those quiet moments, you hear those voices saying maybe this is something that I want to take a look at. This isn't leading to my highest self.
Melinda: Yeah. I want to take a step back and kind of hear a little bit more about your journey. Your father was Syrian. And your mother's from Iowa. You spent your early life in Kuwait. Correct? Yes. And then came here to the US when you were in about sixth grade. And so we were talking about this the other day, and you, you know, just the question of like, what was the biggest difference, you know, you noticed when coming here or what was the biggest shift and you answered with one word.
Reem: Mmm. I can't remember, was alienation?
Melinda: It was actually freedom, but I love, okay, freedom and alienation. There's almost a tension of opposites there.
Reem: There is some polarity there.
Melinda: Yeah, so what was that alienation?
Reem: Yeah, so freedom was the image that I had. I actually would cry and write poetry and, I remember just sitting on my steps as a little girl daydreaming about living in United States. I very much glamorized it. Listened to, you know, Johnny Cash, John Denver, and you know, living in Kuwait, although it is progressive as Arabic countries go, it was still an environment where we felt apprehension going out and about in the day. So I've just had these, I guess, fantasies of just being free.
And it is one of the key components in my life that has driven me is that that sense of freedom. And then we came to the United States. We came to, we went to a very strict private school in Kuwait with, you know, uniforms and very regimented sort of environment. And our initial move was to South Florida in Miami.
Melinda: Very different.
Reem: Very different. I showed up, I thought, you know, being an American was wearing a plaid shirt and Wrangler jeans and dingo boots. So here I am, a girl named Reem showing up in the South Miami a public school. And I was like, you know, I was hit with a lot of walls, a lot of rejection, alienation, feeling alone, feeling like it didn't, So it went from having these images of grandeur to feeling very alone and isolated.
Melinda: Wow. That's a big, that feels like a big fall.
Reem: A big fall. Yes. Yeah, it was.
Melinda: Okay, so kind of coming from that, I know that as your life progressed, you've overcome some significant challenges, and at a certain point you got really into fitness. You've done competitive sports, triathlons. You have been a personal trainer for many years. Now you're on your own as a wellness coach and entrepreneur. You've done fitness modeling, and so I'm curious, was there a particular turning point in your life, maybe a crisis, an epiphany, an insight that really made a big shift for you in your fitness journey?
Reem: Well, I probably should start with how my fitness journey began. I wasn't particularly, you mentioned that, you know, I did endure some trauma and some crisis growing up in high school and was not involved in sports at all. Had no knowledge that I was even good at any sports, and I was dating a particular person who was very physically abusive and he moved to another state. And the day that he moved, I kept driving by this gym, and the day that he moved, I was like, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna join a gym. And so I went in there and I’m like, you know, deer in the headlights. It just was like, I don't know how to do any of this stuff. It seems, you know, so just out of my scope.
But there was something in there that drew me. And so I went in and I just, for a pretty shy girl at at that time, I had the courage to ask a few people, like, what do you do? How do you do this? I just started asking around and started building my knowledge base and then was just speaking with someone who was telling me about a running race and they were like, oh, you should try it!
And I was like, oh gosh, I've never done a race before. Just, you know, so I went out and, signed up for the race and I ran the race and lo and behold, I won the entire race. And I was like, oh wow, like this might be something I'm good at. And so that, that's how the trajectory of my life in fitness began.
I attribute fitness to really saving my life because there was many, many, many dark hours that I went through in my life and it was the call of the feeling that fitness gave me of feeling strong in my body, because there were many circumstances where my body was not my own, circumstances where I wasn't honoring my body in many ways, but there was something about the feeling of being in my body, because in those other circumstances, I became very skillful at leaving my body. So within fitness and within sports, I was able to connect with my body, and so that sensation was what spurred me on, and then what I wanted to in turn show others. I'm like, you can be in dire circumstances, you can be feeling a whole litany of negative things, but if you can take steps to create a better home for your soul, then it's very empowering.
Melinda: I love that, the body as a home for your soul, and I really see the body as a sacred vessel. You know, it's such a precious thing and, and we have so little time here, but what your story really brings to mind for me is the word empowerment. It sounds like you used fitness as a way to become self-empowered, and I think that's really come through in all of our work together. So when we first met, you were in the midst of your entrepreneurial journey, and I'm often talking about the link between creativity and entrepreneurship because it's like there's no clear path. Each person has to discover what that looks like in their own specific way. So for you, I know you'd worked at a gym for many years, won many accolades, trainer of the year. So you had a good thing going and yet you really aspired to go out on your own and move more into the world of wellness coaching. And so I'm curious, what was most challenging about making that shift?
Reem: It is a challenging shift. I was successful. I had a lot of great clients that I had developed wonderful bonds with, yet there was something in me, which has been in me from the very start, that's always been like, okay, there's something more for you than this. Not that I don't enjoy being in the moment, but there's something in me, almost like the salmon's call to spawn, that like you're in the stage for a while, and I enjoy and grow in each particular stage. Yet there's an inner knowing that when that time is done, that there's something different to move on to. Again, that's that connection with your body where you can actually hear that voice within you.
Melinda: Well, and maybe to reframe it a little bit, you work so much in stewarding change and helping empower others, and then sometimes, you know, when it's time for us to take a leap, it's harder, right?
Reem: Oh, absolutely. So I had that sensation and that's when I actually reached out to you. I had read your bio and was very impressed with your--you too have a great appreciation for the mind body connection--and we had some great discussions and you asked me some questions, some very reflective questions about peak moments in my life, and that was probably one of the first times I was able to connect; you asked me like, what were some of the the key words? What are words that spoke to my soul and: freedom. You know, I was in a corporate work environment. I didn't have freedom. I had freedom, you know, within my appointments with my clients, but as far as the things that I could talk about, delving deeper, not just talking about the physical side of wellness, but able to talk about the holistic side, the spiritual side, those deeper aspects that lead to true wholeness.
So you got me asking those questions of myself, what's important to me. Yet the time wasn't right. The time was not right for me to take that big step because it you lose sight of the shore. And I was on a comfortable shore and I was gonna have to go into waters where I maybe couldn't see either side of the shore.
Melinda: But a seed was planted.
Reem: A seed was planted, and you were very critical in that sort of point where I was like, this is something that I want more. And also, I'll probably get to this later, but also continuing education was something that I've always; I'm a lifelong learner, so that was another seed that was in my head. I'm like, you know, what if I got a PhD? So those multiple seeds were planted at that time. But the time wasn't right. So then, insert Covid.
Melinda: A turning point for so many of us.
Reem: A turning point for so many. And that's another thing with changes is oftentimes that door will slightly come ajar and it you have to just leap. You have to leap. You never know. And what I've come to realize as well during this process is you can read books about how to start your business, how to do a YouTube video, how to do a website, you can read all sorts of things. But not until you do the thing will you truly learn. And so that's what's been, you know, I feel like I'm like, lots of growing pains. It's very rewarding, also very hard. And it also allows me to speak to my clients who are experiencing growing pains in their area of challenge. I'm like, I know exactly what that feels like. It's not in the same area that you're working with right now, but it's the way I feel maybe in an academic setting right now or in some other aspect of my life.
It's like we're all, nature is changing, we're all always changing, and if we're stagnant, we're dead. Either we're dead physically, or we feel like we're dead. And one of my life's missions is to not die with my music inside me.
Melinda: Yes, love that!
Reem: And that's what I hope to impart on others as well.
Melinda: Yeah, I love that. And there's a couple things that you bring up there that I find interesting, one of which is in my experience, in working with people, the most effective way to do that oftentimes is through empathy. So as you said, you know, when we've been through it ourselves, when we've experienced the suffering and we know what it's like, it's a lot easier to empathize with other people, and then kind of say, look, this is what I was able to do, and you can do the same.
And so you mentioned being a lifelong learner. I know that you're currently doing a master's in transpersonal psychology, consciousness and spirituality. And so for me, when I work with different types of creatives, writers, authors, but I think, you know, this could be equated to anybody who's trying to implement change in whatever context of their life, daily practice is so important. You know, and you and I have had so many conversations about spirituality. I know you've taken some solo retreats, which really is inspiring to me, by the way. So daily practice, just like joining a gym, it takes that consistent effort over time, or like in Syncreate, Charlotte and I often talk about breaking our goals into these small, incremental steps so that we can take action on a daily basis. And all those little steps add up over time. So I'm curious, what is your most important daily spiritual wellness practice?
Reem: Meditation for sure. Another very key point in my journey was the first time I chose to take a yoga class. No clue what yoga was really about other than just the topical understanding and being a very physically minded person, like sure, you know, go in and the yoga class itself was fine, but at the end, for those who don't know, there's a position called Savasana where you lay on the ground with your palms open and just close your eyes and it was the first time I think I can consciously remember really being silent, and just a wellspring of tears came, just from nowhere. But it was like I had so much inside of me that I had just squashed down in the busyness of just keep going forward and don't look back.
But in that, all those things just fester and you hold onto, it just intertwines into your psyche and into your being. So I was like, oh my gosh, this is what it feels like to be quiet. And then from that point forward, I began meditating in the morning, and I started very simply. I put eye shades on to block all sensory stimulus, I listened to binaural beats, and so meditation daily is a must. And then through that meditation practice, I started to be called to the wilderness. To go out and be in silence out in nature. And it was in those moments that I've had the most mystical and sort of peak transformative experiences, which have been incredibly healing.
Melinda: Beautiful, and I love what you said there. Tara Brach, the Buddhist teacher, talks about the sacred pause. We're moving at such a fast pace at all times in our culture. Sometimes just, you talked in the very beginning about slowing down, and then how just being still can actually open up so much, and so that's something I really love about your philosophy. You're not just looking at the physical body, you're really looking at the mind, body, and spirit, the whole package.
So I'm noticing we're pretty much at time. Just want to give you an opportunity; is there anything else that you want to mention or anything that you want to ask me before we finish?
Reem: So many things I want to ask you. Half of our sessions are spent because you're such an interesting person and you've have had experience in such a broad range of very deep and interesting aspects of just being a human. You truly live life, which is very, very inspiring.
As far as anything that I'd like to say in closing is just my goal in life is to be of service to others, and you don't have to stay stuck. And it is about perception. Another turning point was when I decided to stop waiting for someone else to help me make my life happen and decided to take that upon myself and you're an example of that. So I feel very inspired that we've come full circle, that I came to you eliciting your help and that I can be of some service to you. But in the end, it's us helping one another that that leads to, I think, the beauty of life.
Melinda: Yeah. And it really does create a synergy. So thank you so much.
Reem: You're welcome. Thanks for having me.
Melinda: It's been wonderful. I really appreciate your coming. Thank you.
Thanks again to Reem Khashou for our conversation.You can find out more about her work at changewithreem.com. This episode was produced by Mike Osborne with Production Assistance by Brandon Burke. Follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn where you can also find out more about Syncreate. Thanks for listening and see you next time.
Today on the show, Reem Khashou.
I think it's very easy for many of us to fall into the trap of thinking about creativity in a narrow way. Today's guest, Reem Khashou, is a fitness and wellness expert, as well as my personal trainer. And at first you might not think of her as creative in a traditional sense. However, her work is not just about fitness and getting into better shape.
It's about something much more profound, namely, what it means to steward change. For many of us, change is hard and uncomfortable. Much of my work coaching and consulting with leaders and executives is about change management, whether it's in our personal lives or in our professional roles, implementing change is almost always harder than it seems. And for me, stewarding change is a fundamentally creative and vital process if we want to truly thrive. So, I decided to start my conversation with Reem by asking her about the mind-body connection and how it can be hard to implement lasting change.
Reem: First of all, I think in today's society and our Western society, we spend a lot of focus in our minds, and we are not connected to our bodies. So we move through the day in this hustle bustle, go, go, go, without actually feeling our bodies. So that's an integral step, just slowing down and actually thinking about things like, what am I putting into my body? How do I feel about my sleep? It's like we're in this constant striving for more, more, more, and we're not present within our very home on this planet, and change is difficult.
There is no magic bullet, but like anything lasting it takes breaking things down in focused efforts. So, I do ascribe to the theory called the transtheoretical model of change, and it places change into different stages and different steps. Let's pick smoking because that's probably an easy example. The you're like, I smoke, yeah, maybe might not be the best thing for me. But really pre-contemplation is where you couldn't care less. The second phase is contemplation, where you're starting to notice a few of my friends aren't quite smoking as much, and I still like it though. And then you move into a phase where you start to look around, you start to maybe read a little research, and then you move into the stage of action where you might go to the drugstore and pick up a packet of the smoking gum, maybe look at it, don't buy it, put it back. But those are the stages that you go through. And then at one point you, you go to the store one day for whatever reason, and you actually put that gum in your cart. So then you're in the phase of action, and that phase lasts a long time. It's not linear. You can chew the gum, be successful with it, and then have a stressful day and say, hey, I need a cigarette. So it's like acknowledging that change is progressive and it's something that does take time.
Melinda: Yeah. So just to kind of recap that, it sounds like the first few stages are actually in the mind. And then when we get to action, that's when it really starts to happen in the body.
Reem: They are, yes. And to celebrate those small successes, even the fact that you looked at that package of gum is still a success. So acknowledging because you're like, oh, I should, we live in a society of I should be better, I should be doing this. You are where you are in that space for a reason, and when the time is right, you'll make a decision to move forward.
So it's even acknowledging five months ago, I wouldn't have even considered going to the drugstore and looking at this and now you've read the back of it and thought, how would I implement this into my life? How would my life be a little bit better if I didn't smoke? So you start to weigh the pros and cons of changing and there's also pros of not changing.
Melinda: Yeah, and it sounds like having the intention to change, even if it starts with the tiniest little glimmer and then it starts to build.
Reem: Yes. I always feel like there's a little seed and when you slow down and you have those quiet moments, you hear those voices saying maybe this is something that I want to take a look at. This isn't leading to my highest self.
Melinda: Yeah. I want to take a step back and kind of hear a little bit more about your journey. Your father was Syrian. And your mother's from Iowa. You spent your early life in Kuwait. Correct? Yes. And then came here to the US when you were in about sixth grade. And so we were talking about this the other day, and you, you know, just the question of like, what was the biggest difference, you know, you noticed when coming here or what was the biggest shift and you answered with one word.
Reem: Mmm. I can't remember, was alienation?
Melinda: It was actually freedom, but I love, okay, freedom and alienation. There's almost a tension of opposites there.
Reem: There is some polarity there.
Melinda: Yeah, so what was that alienation?
Reem: Yeah, so freedom was the image that I had. I actually would cry and write poetry and, I remember just sitting on my steps as a little girl daydreaming about living in United States. I very much glamorized it. Listened to, you know, Johnny Cash, John Denver, and you know, living in Kuwait, although it is progressive as Arabic countries go, it was still an environment where we felt apprehension going out and about in the day. So I've just had these, I guess, fantasies of just being free.
And it is one of the key components in my life that has driven me is that that sense of freedom. And then we came to the United States. We came to, we went to a very strict private school in Kuwait with, you know, uniforms and very regimented sort of environment. And our initial move was to South Florida in Miami.
Melinda: Very different.
Reem: Very different. I showed up, I thought, you know, being an American was wearing a plaid shirt and Wrangler jeans and dingo boots. So here I am, a girl named Reem showing up in the South Miami a public school. And I was like, you know, I was hit with a lot of walls, a lot of rejection, alienation, feeling alone, feeling like it didn't, So it went from having these images of grandeur to feeling very alone and isolated.
Melinda: Wow. That's a big, that feels like a big fall.
Reem: A big fall. Yes. Yeah, it was.
Melinda: Okay, so kind of coming from that, I know that as your life progressed, you've overcome some significant challenges, and at a certain point you got really into fitness. You've done competitive sports, triathlons. You have been a personal trainer for many years. Now you're on your own as a wellness coach and entrepreneur. You've done fitness modeling, and so I'm curious, was there a particular turning point in your life, maybe a crisis, an epiphany, an insight that really made a big shift for you in your fitness journey?
Reem: Well, I probably should start with how my fitness journey began. I wasn't particularly, you mentioned that, you know, I did endure some trauma and some crisis growing up in high school and was not involved in sports at all. Had no knowledge that I was even good at any sports, and I was dating a particular person who was very physically abusive and he moved to another state. And the day that he moved, I kept driving by this gym, and the day that he moved, I was like, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna join a gym. And so I went in there and I’m like, you know, deer in the headlights. It just was like, I don't know how to do any of this stuff. It seems, you know, so just out of my scope.
But there was something in there that drew me. And so I went in and I just, for a pretty shy girl at at that time, I had the courage to ask a few people, like, what do you do? How do you do this? I just started asking around and started building my knowledge base and then was just speaking with someone who was telling me about a running race and they were like, oh, you should try it!
And I was like, oh gosh, I've never done a race before. Just, you know, so I went out and, signed up for the race and I ran the race and lo and behold, I won the entire race. And I was like, oh wow, like this might be something I'm good at. And so that, that's how the trajectory of my life in fitness began.
I attribute fitness to really saving my life because there was many, many, many dark hours that I went through in my life and it was the call of the feeling that fitness gave me of feeling strong in my body, because there were many circumstances where my body was not my own, circumstances where I wasn't honoring my body in many ways, but there was something about the feeling of being in my body, because in those other circumstances, I became very skillful at leaving my body. So within fitness and within sports, I was able to connect with my body, and so that sensation was what spurred me on, and then what I wanted to in turn show others. I'm like, you can be in dire circumstances, you can be feeling a whole litany of negative things, but if you can take steps to create a better home for your soul, then it's very empowering.
Melinda: I love that, the body as a home for your soul, and I really see the body as a sacred vessel. You know, it's such a precious thing and, and we have so little time here, but what your story really brings to mind for me is the word empowerment. It sounds like you used fitness as a way to become self-empowered, and I think that's really come through in all of our work together. So when we first met, you were in the midst of your entrepreneurial journey, and I'm often talking about the link between creativity and entrepreneurship because it's like there's no clear path. Each person has to discover what that looks like in their own specific way. So for you, I know you'd worked at a gym for many years, won many accolades, trainer of the year. So you had a good thing going and yet you really aspired to go out on your own and move more into the world of wellness coaching. And so I'm curious, what was most challenging about making that shift?
Reem: It is a challenging shift. I was successful. I had a lot of great clients that I had developed wonderful bonds with, yet there was something in me, which has been in me from the very start, that's always been like, okay, there's something more for you than this. Not that I don't enjoy being in the moment, but there's something in me, almost like the salmon's call to spawn, that like you're in the stage for a while, and I enjoy and grow in each particular stage. Yet there's an inner knowing that when that time is done, that there's something different to move on to. Again, that's that connection with your body where you can actually hear that voice within you.
Melinda: Well, and maybe to reframe it a little bit, you work so much in stewarding change and helping empower others, and then sometimes, you know, when it's time for us to take a leap, it's harder, right?
Reem: Oh, absolutely. So I had that sensation and that's when I actually reached out to you. I had read your bio and was very impressed with your--you too have a great appreciation for the mind body connection--and we had some great discussions and you asked me some questions, some very reflective questions about peak moments in my life, and that was probably one of the first times I was able to connect; you asked me like, what were some of the the key words? What are words that spoke to my soul and: freedom. You know, I was in a corporate work environment. I didn't have freedom. I had freedom, you know, within my appointments with my clients, but as far as the things that I could talk about, delving deeper, not just talking about the physical side of wellness, but able to talk about the holistic side, the spiritual side, those deeper aspects that lead to true wholeness.
So you got me asking those questions of myself, what's important to me. Yet the time wasn't right. The time was not right for me to take that big step because it you lose sight of the shore. And I was on a comfortable shore and I was gonna have to go into waters where I maybe couldn't see either side of the shore.
Melinda: But a seed was planted.
Reem: A seed was planted, and you were very critical in that sort of point where I was like, this is something that I want more. And also, I'll probably get to this later, but also continuing education was something that I've always; I'm a lifelong learner, so that was another seed that was in my head. I'm like, you know, what if I got a PhD? So those multiple seeds were planted at that time. But the time wasn't right. So then, insert Covid.
Melinda: A turning point for so many of us.
Reem: A turning point for so many. And that's another thing with changes is oftentimes that door will slightly come ajar and it you have to just leap. You have to leap. You never know. And what I've come to realize as well during this process is you can read books about how to start your business, how to do a YouTube video, how to do a website, you can read all sorts of things. But not until you do the thing will you truly learn. And so that's what's been, you know, I feel like I'm like, lots of growing pains. It's very rewarding, also very hard. And it also allows me to speak to my clients who are experiencing growing pains in their area of challenge. I'm like, I know exactly what that feels like. It's not in the same area that you're working with right now, but it's the way I feel maybe in an academic setting right now or in some other aspect of my life.
It's like we're all, nature is changing, we're all always changing, and if we're stagnant, we're dead. Either we're dead physically, or we feel like we're dead. And one of my life's missions is to not die with my music inside me.
Melinda: Yes, love that!
Reem: And that's what I hope to impart on others as well.
Melinda: Yeah, I love that. And there's a couple things that you bring up there that I find interesting, one of which is in my experience, in working with people, the most effective way to do that oftentimes is through empathy. So as you said, you know, when we've been through it ourselves, when we've experienced the suffering and we know what it's like, it's a lot easier to empathize with other people, and then kind of say, look, this is what I was able to do, and you can do the same.
And so you mentioned being a lifelong learner. I know that you're currently doing a master's in transpersonal psychology, consciousness and spirituality. And so for me, when I work with different types of creatives, writers, authors, but I think, you know, this could be equated to anybody who's trying to implement change in whatever context of their life, daily practice is so important. You know, and you and I have had so many conversations about spirituality. I know you've taken some solo retreats, which really is inspiring to me, by the way. So daily practice, just like joining a gym, it takes that consistent effort over time, or like in Syncreate, Charlotte and I often talk about breaking our goals into these small, incremental steps so that we can take action on a daily basis. And all those little steps add up over time. So I'm curious, what is your most important daily spiritual wellness practice?
Reem: Meditation for sure. Another very key point in my journey was the first time I chose to take a yoga class. No clue what yoga was really about other than just the topical understanding and being a very physically minded person, like sure, you know, go in and the yoga class itself was fine, but at the end, for those who don't know, there's a position called Savasana where you lay on the ground with your palms open and just close your eyes and it was the first time I think I can consciously remember really being silent, and just a wellspring of tears came, just from nowhere. But it was like I had so much inside of me that I had just squashed down in the busyness of just keep going forward and don't look back.
But in that, all those things just fester and you hold onto, it just intertwines into your psyche and into your being. So I was like, oh my gosh, this is what it feels like to be quiet. And then from that point forward, I began meditating in the morning, and I started very simply. I put eye shades on to block all sensory stimulus, I listened to binaural beats, and so meditation daily is a must. And then through that meditation practice, I started to be called to the wilderness. To go out and be in silence out in nature. And it was in those moments that I've had the most mystical and sort of peak transformative experiences, which have been incredibly healing.
Melinda: Beautiful, and I love what you said there. Tara Brach, the Buddhist teacher, talks about the sacred pause. We're moving at such a fast pace at all times in our culture. Sometimes just, you talked in the very beginning about slowing down, and then how just being still can actually open up so much, and so that's something I really love about your philosophy. You're not just looking at the physical body, you're really looking at the mind, body, and spirit, the whole package.
So I'm noticing we're pretty much at time. Just want to give you an opportunity; is there anything else that you want to mention or anything that you want to ask me before we finish?
Reem: So many things I want to ask you. Half of our sessions are spent because you're such an interesting person and you've have had experience in such a broad range of very deep and interesting aspects of just being a human. You truly live life, which is very, very inspiring.
As far as anything that I'd like to say in closing is just my goal in life is to be of service to others, and you don't have to stay stuck. And it is about perception. Another turning point was when I decided to stop waiting for someone else to help me make my life happen and decided to take that upon myself and you're an example of that. So I feel very inspired that we've come full circle, that I came to you eliciting your help and that I can be of some service to you. But in the end, it's us helping one another that that leads to, I think, the beauty of life.
Melinda: Yeah. And it really does create a synergy. So thank you so much.
Reem: You're welcome. Thanks for having me.
Melinda: It's been wonderful. I really appreciate your coming. Thank you.
Thanks again to Reem Khashou for our conversation.You can find out more about her work at changewithreem.com. This episode was produced by Mike Osborne with Production Assistance by Brandon Burke. Follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn where you can also find out more about Syncreate. Thanks for listening and see you next time.
